Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Goodbye to an old friend...

I don't know why this is affecting me so. But here it is 4am, and I am bawling. Standing to my right all newly dusted and waiting to be picked up in 5 hours to go to its new home sits the piano. I just spent the last hour playing through old favorites, relying on memory when my eyes teared up so badly I could no longer see the music. And I sit here in wonder...why? What is it about this instrument that is causing me such stress?

Maybe it's because it's the first of many goodbyes that are coming in the next few days. Or maybe I'm not ready to give it up because of the memories that it carries with it. Memories of home and love and laughter. I can still see it plain as day. Sitting in the living room, my mom sitting playing her heart out, singing at the top of her lungs. And then dad wanders in, stands behind her, places his hands on her shoulders and joins in. I remember scooting closer on the floor to listen and watch. The love that poured out of the piano through mom's fingers, and the joined voices of the two people that meant the most to me, is something that I will never forget. And everytime I look at that piano, or sit down and play it, I am reminded of that love. In less than 5 hours, I will no longer have that reminder.

I remember the day that I decided that it was time I learned how to play it. Mom had tried to teach me, yeah that didn't work. Other instructors tried to teach me, I wasn't having any of it. But then one day, I decided that I was going to learn. So I taught myself...course, I taught myself wrong, which led to a lot of additional lessons in college...but I taught myself on that piano.

I will always remember the way the family would gather around it and sing. Rejoicing in each other, in love. There's that word again. And I'll never forget the "drunken" piano light. That damn light that always drooped down. LOL. It was such nuisance.

As a child, I used the piano's bench to help hold up my fort. My hidey hole. My safe haven. I would play for hours under the blankets strewn across the furniture, barbies using the bench to jump off of into the make believe pool on the blue carpet floor. And who could forget the dulcet tones of the cat as she made her way across in the middle of the night because the cover had been left up. LOL. No, those memories will stay.

So, now it will go to a family where it will make more memories. To a little girl that will learn to play, and use its bench for her own fort. To create memories that she will take with her when she is older.

And I say goodbye to a very old, and dear friend.

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